ad hoc

Victory for the Topless Front

2008-05-25T21:47:00.002-10:00

Let feminists worldwide take a lesson from this- dare to struggle dare to win! You have nothing to lose but your clothes!
In other news, Copenhagen's tourist rate have increased by 400%.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Hmmmmmmmmmm......... *packs bags*

I say it's a victory for everyone.
Sure, until the 80 year old grandmas decide to take advantage of it.
gotta take the bad with the good
That's what I love about these senior citizens, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

Don't get excited, boys...it's been legal for years for women to walk around topless in public in Ontario (Canada), but it doesn't actually happen in real life.
And when it does happen, they don't usually look like the hottie in the pic.
But we can dream, can't we?
That's because it's too cold in Canada.

"Mission Accomplished"

FTA:
"The only protest against the move came from lifeguards who said they had problems knowing what to hold when rescuing swimmers in difficulties."
....if you have to ask.....

time to digg up my resume. I heard there are some lifeguard positions open in coppenhagen

Playboy Looks for Models at Olive Garden

2008-05-25T21:47:00.001-10:00

To Olive Garden! Get the Batmobile running...
Shall I notify Master Dick, sir?

I going to Olive Garden tonight to eat out.
Their salad bar just got tossed...

"No, honey. I read it for the recipes."

you want some more alfredo sauce on that?

I swear honey, I was just warming the breadstick!

Penis theft on the rise

2008-05-25T21:38:00.000-10:00

That's why I got the club. Freakin penis snatchers.

He he he "...on the rise" he he he

Please be the onion... DOH.
I thought this was an Onion article for a second. I dunno if I was dissapointed or relieved when I found out it wasn't.

Sounds like a typical day in an American maternity ward. Get born, get part of your dick hacked off.

Man Charged For Having Sex With A Patio Table

2008-05-25T21:37:00.001-10:00

His best pickup line: "Nice Legs"

Is that really a crime?
Not if you get consent from the table first...?
Who knows, maybe the table was under-age?
Your only allowed to bone antique tables?

Hey, why no charges against the perv who videotaped this fellow expressing his love toward his personal property in the privacy of his own backyard?

Typical liberal media male-bashing. How about a picture of that whore-of-a-table? Afraid that might sway peoples' perspectives and show them this slut was asking for it? I thought so.

His wife must be one ugly gal for him to get it on with lawn furniture

This guy's a father of three. How do you ever, ever show your face to your friends when they know you dad humps furniture? In PUBLIC, yet? I thought the old man farting at the Thanksgiving table was embarassing... my dad's a saint next to this guy.

Bet he has a blast at Home Depot.

After 3 kids, it was probably tighter than his wife.

Father of 3 what? Chairs?
2 chairs 1 end table

LOL, my favorite part, is the huge link at the bottom of the page.. " See Our Gallery of Homemade Sex Toys "

Man Arrested After Pumping Gas Into An Imaginary Car

2008-05-25T21:28:00.000-10:00

"IT'S THERE MAN! CAN'T YOU SEE IT? CAN'T YOU FEEL THE CAR'S AURA?"
That's one expensive imagination. Why not pump imaginary gas, too?

I wonder how he got to the gas station..???? driving...???

i wonder how much it took to fill it up
Yeah, and what kind of mileage does it get?
About 3.45i dollars.

This is why gas prices are so high.

What kind of imaginary car was it? Did anyone else get a look at it?

Dude, where's my car?

Junior High Sweethearts Get Engaged in Math Class

2008-05-25T21:27:00.000-10:00

I once proposed to a girl in junior high...but she failed me anyway.

I thought by "engaged" they meant interested to learn math...I guess I should have seen that coming, right?

But I ask out a junior high girl and suddenly the cops call me a creep.

NO PASSING NOTES IN CLASS!

Stop having sex back there. STOP IT!!!
NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
***** IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE!
***** THING SUCKS!
THERES NO WORDS THERE! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Did he use the classic equation: you + me = forever?
i think it goes "add the bodies, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply."

"Most Popular Slideshows:Junior High Sweethearts Get Engaged In Bay Area Math Class. 3 Female Teachers Charged With Having Sex With Students"
Well now, thats an interesting combination...

She used an X instead of checked, SHE'S DOING IT WRONG! dump her

i also want to peer pressure my wife into marrying me.
uh...didn't she already marry you?

It's Official: Bit Torrents Caused 9/11.

2008-05-25T21:22:00.001-10:00

Wow, makes me look back fondly on the days when pirates were merely downloading Communism.

I'm glad our Attorney General's office is looking in all the right places. Makes me sleep better at night.

I always suspected that cracked copies of Photoshop were responsible for destroying the WTC. Never again!

I wonder if anybody has ever explained to Mukasey that the vast majority of people pirating Photoshop generate no revenue at all.
Has anyone explained to him the vast majority of people pirating photoshop never actually end up using it?

So, just where are these magical money making torrents? I need to make about 200 a week, please email asap!

I thought the Hamburgler caused 9/11...
Quiet. You've said too much already...
Hey. Mayor McCheese was asleep at the switch. He ALLOWED it to happen.

Yes, because piracy is such a lucrative business...

Terrorist: Hello Sir, Would you like this copy of Photoshop for $200USD
Person: Oh that, I got that weeks ago on isohunt...

1) Put free music online
2) ???
3) Profit!...oh and terrorism too

Hillary’s New Ad: "One More Bell to Answer"

2008-05-25T21:21:00.001-10:00

It's 3am. And I'm under sniper fire.

Why is the poor economy calling this late?

Oh, so that's how it works? A surprise economic crisis pops up at 3am and the president answers the phone to make it all better. You learn something every day.

Wow. So she followed up a bad commercial with....another bad commercial based on the same idea. And then McCain's response was -- re-dubbing the exact same commercial with the exact same dialogue but names switched and mentioning taxes.

Jesus Christ - enough with the damn phone. When the ***** is the White House going to get E-mail?

What I suggest for Obama's next commercial: "It's 3am - and I have a Blackberry."

And what the hell is going to cause an economic crisis at 3 in the morning? Is the stock market going to crash at 3 in the morning? no. Could there be a modern day bank run at 3 in the morning? No. Asian markets could crash at that time, but that's not something to get the president out of bed for. It's not even something the president can do anything about, at least not at 3 AM. It's such a non-sequiter as to boggle my brain right out of its skull. And why is the phone ringing at 3 AM any more important than a phone ringing at noon.
Further more, if the president is making economic deals at 3 AM, that screams shadiness. Then again, the Clinton's are no strangers to shady economic deals.

Cops bust school principal with pot, porn and 2 teen sisters

2008-05-25T21:16:00.000-10:00

This guy is my idol... except for the getting caught part

"Markofsky and the two girls were smoking marijuana, drinking alcohol and watching pornographic material. The sisters were from the Milwaukee area."
That's about most fun you can have here until summer arrives.

Here's another article from a couple days ago about this.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-mchen ...

Best line:
"The sisters told police they had wanted to watch "Alvin and the Chipmunks," but that Markofsky put on pornography instead, the report said."

In my opinion, if he actually put on "Alvin and the Chipmunks" he should be in deeper trouble.

They're going to vote on his dismissal? What the hell do you have to do to get fired on the spot?
8 year old twins?
Boys?

The only way this guy could be more badass is if he had a shootout with the cops
and escaped on a Harley with the two girls after torching the hotel room behind him. At least thats how it'll play out in the movie version (there will be a movie).

California To Consider $2 Billion Beer Tax

2008-05-25T21:15:00.001-10:00

2 billion for a six pack! How can anyone afford that!
I sold my house for a Guinness, best investment ever.

More taxes? I'll drink to that.
. . . and so will California

Ever wonder why the tobacco industry was sued into near bankruptcy? Look who their donations went to, mainly conservatives. Ever wonder why the same thing has not happened to the alcohol industry? They donate mainly to democrats.

Yeah, I was going to sue coors for making me drive while drunk and crashing, but then I remembered they gave money to Bill Clinton so I just played FF6 instead.

Breast milk cheese. Any takers? -- STRANGE

2008-05-25T21:14:00.001-10:00

Borat: And what is this?
Store Clerk (uncredited): That’s cheese.
Borat: And what of this?
Store Clerk (uncredited): That’s cheese...
Borat: And this?
Store Clerk (uncredited): That’s cheese...
Borat: And what is this? Rice?
Store Clerk (uncredited): No that’s cheese, this is all cheese here.
Borat: But this say "Crackers", this not cheese.
Store Clerk (uncredited): No Crackers is the brand, that’s cheese...

If they need anyone to do a health inspection on the source, contact me

This is something that's intrigued me. In our society it is perfectly acceptable to drink milk from a cow, but it is somehow weird and disgusting if one were to drink human breast milk? Anyone else find that odd?
I totally agree. Cow milk is for cows. It makes more sense to drink human milk.

Do I get to choose the breasts it comes from? Jessica Alba cheese?
i have a long list of certain cheeses i want. :^)

I wonder how it tastes on pizza.

I don't drink milk, i do enjoy cheese, but I've always thought it odd to drink milk from a cows breast while being turned off by the thought of human breast milk... I can see farms filled with huge women doped up on hormones and antibiotics attached to milking machines in the far future?

Human breast milk is missing the required proteins to be thickened by rennet and therefore can not be made into cheese. This is obviously a hoax.

I'll take 1 pound of Angelina Jolie's finest.

I'm reminded of some people on a ship in the Caribbean several years ago. They were stranded for days and a whole boat load of 20-30 people survived on a woman's breast milk.
That doesn't sound right to me. Was she photosynthesising?

If 20 people got their nutrition from a single woman, where did she get hers from? Lactating women need extra calories to support lactation - you don't get energy from nothing. And if there was food for her, the others would have been better off having some of this food instead of her milk.

Lactating mothers are not energy creating perpetuum-mobile devices, they merely transform energy from one food source to another.

Boy, 7, Injured After Being Hit by Ambulance in Illinois

2008-05-25T21:11:00.000-10:00

Definition of irony

At least an ambulance was at hand to take him to the hospital..
This happens so often in GTA.
Well, thats convenient.

Happily, there was an ambulance-chasing lawyer right there to take his case. Kid's set for life.
*Lawyer's set for life. Kid might get something though.

Did they think they had a quota to meet?
no child left behind

At least it wasn't a hit-and-run...

I'm confused. Do we hate FOX or not? Or is it ABC or NBC or something now?

Well, if I HAD to be hit by a car, I'd want it to be an ambulence too.

THOSE ***** PIECE OF ***** AMBULANCES, THEY NEED TO BE STOPED! PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION
"***** Ambulance" sounds like a new porn site in the vein of the Bang Bus.

I can see it now: "These luscious ladies called 911 for a ride to the hospital...watch what they have to ride when they don't have insurance!"

in other news, 20,000 African children died today because of lack of nutrition.
yeah...but that happens everyday...that's not news
were any of them hit by an ambulance?

34% Were Lying.

2008-05-25T20:50:00.001-10:00

Lying about people washing their hands after using the restroom

I would expect the lying percent mush higher

34% in a men's restroom? must be a high class establishment
Poll time...
If you wash you always wash your hands after using the bathroom digg this comment up
If you only do it sometimes (50% or less), then bury it.

Maybe I'm a germophobe, but I never touch the doorknob in any bathroom.
no, no you are on to something. I am the same way. people always give me funny looks when i grab an extra paper towel so that i can turn the water on and off and to open the door when i leave.
I rubbed the paper towel on my ass before you walked in.
Getting it back in the dispenser must be a real pain in the ass.

Does it still count as washing your hands if you don't use soap?

Why don't restrooms have automatic doors? Thats where you need them the most...

16 Things to Remember if You Want to Date a Supermodel

2008-05-25T20:28:00.001-10:00

this kind of advice will sure be handy to Digg users since so many of us are inclined to date supermodels. :)

Dugg because it worked for me. Went right out to Ralph's supermarket and bagged one.

1) Have a physique like a Greek statue.
2) If you can't possibly pull #1 off, get lots and lots of money and throw it around like you don't need it.
3-16) see #2.

Original Title: How Adrian Lima makes guys her bitches.

David Jaffe Interview

2008-04-01T23:54:00.001-10:00

Hillary wasn't lyin

2008-03-26T15:04:00.000-10:00

What will life be in the year 2008?

2008-03-24T22:23:00.002-10:00

They weren't too far off.

I feel cheated...

The Real 2008: You'll slide into your hardly-slick 1988 toyota corolla and head out to a biz meeting 10 miles away. Ninety minutes later you'll arrive after sitting in stand-still traffic most of the trip and having stopped to put your weekly $50 worth of gas in......

I gotta give it to them, people from the 60's set their goals pretty high.That kind of ambition is long gone today.

"The average work day is about four hours."
Dude, what happened?

"Money has all but disappeared."
Here is a fellow that predicted our current financial woes. Quite amazing!

Hey you never know. A lot could happen between now and November.

"It's 8 A.M., Tuesday, November 18th, 2008..."
Guys, we still have 7 months, let's do this!

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer Linked to Prostitution Ring

2008-03-11T20:51:00.000-10:00

Looks like someone got caught with his pants down.

Keep this hush hush since it is a democrat.
You're right. No minors, secretive gay sex, public restrooms or drugs involved. Must be a Democrat sex scandal.

Elsewhere, the top rate was $5,500 an hour!
For that amount of money I'd hope she comes with a Macbook Air or something.
Sounds painful for her and messy for the MacBook Air.

Unfortunately for him, this story will have no "Happy Ending".

Note to self, Prepaid Cell Phones.

Apparently the prostitutes had "diamond" levels from 1 - 7. The ones with 7diamonds could charge over 5K/hour. I wonder what their stats had to be to level up.
How many experience points does a prostitute need to level up? I'm sure stamina increases, but what about HP?

The good news is he has endorsed Hillary so he can ask Bill Clinton for advice on how to handle sex scandals.

Libs at work kids.
Repubs at work ON kids.

lets remember, that really sucks for his three daughters
that we know of

There goes another Clinton superdelegate.
I'm sure she will find a way to blame this on Obama's inexperience.

A chicken in every pot, and a whore in every bed.

U.K. Union Calls for Homework to be Banned!

2008-03-11T20:47:00.000-10:00

whats next, Ban tests, so we send kids to school to be bored for 12 years, then when they realise they can't add they go flip burgers at mcdonalds for the rest of their lives? all part of the dumbing down of America

Especially since this is taking place in the UK

Here's a plan... Why not just get your shit together? Stop going on Myspace/Facebook, being lazy, drinking and/or doing drugs after school and do your damn work, or you get beaten. Unless you want to get dominated by the more educated countries later (or sooner) in life.

stop trying to learn me things.

Sounds like the teachers want to do less work.

"A Royal Commission should also investigate why so many children dislike school"
Was this person ever a kid? Kids dislike schools because it's, well, school.

seriously? pretty soon you are going to be able to pass high school for writing your name on your diploma. my high school was way too easy, 4.0 in high school turned into a 1.9 first semester of college

Are you sure it wasn't the booze?

"A Royal Commission should be established to investigate why so many children feel unhappy"
Because it inteferes with their World Of Warcraft Raids, of course.

2008 Election Results Leaked

2008-02-25T21:51:00.000-10:00

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Best movie ever

2008-02-24T14:40:00.000-10:00

The guy in charge of MS's QA

2008-02-14T13:45:00.001-10:00

A Valentine's Day Parent Teacher Conference

2008-02-12T16:10:00.000-10:00

Mo Money Taxes

2008-02-10T22:00:00.001-10:00

College really isn't necessary

2008-02-08T15:50:00.000-10:00

Am I sexist for saying that women like this contribute absolutely nothing to society and are basically a waste of boobs?
Is there such thing as a waste of boobs?
Transvestites.
Hillary Clinton.

here is her myspace if anyone feels like pissing her off
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=us ...
Digg is not your personal army.
Yes. Yes it is. Fly my minions!
why is she in the driver's seat. Isn't that what men are for?

And people wonder why the feminist movement lacks support....
Obvious: They burned their bra's

Bet you everyone is ultra cautious with the spelling in this comments thread.
Danm Rihgt

I blame her parents. They didn't even spell her damn name right.

Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008

2008-02-08T15:44:00.000-10:00

Users on digg are going to have a field day.

The is the happiest digg users will ever be, unless someone poses naked with an iphone while coding open sourced software.

"While your Honda Civic is trendy and hip now..."
Buried as inaccurate.

The Negotiating Table

2008-01-26T11:26:00.000-10:00

WGA and AMPTP negotiators return to the table.

Unusual ebay Feedback

2008-01-24T14:27:00.000-10:00

from Capn Wacky

POSITIVE: Item shipped quickly, have been having erotic dreams about seller. Thanks!

POSITIVE: Thanks for great Rainbow Brite lunchbox. Should shrunken head be inside?

NEUTRAL: Excellent communication, but should've poked holes in box before shipping the kitten. Refunded.

NEGATIVE: Despite indication in listing, I could not fit item into any of my body cavities.

NEGATIVE: Honda R-Type sticker did not add horsepower as advertised.

NEUTRAL: Item shipped promptly and in good condition, but I should not have to bid on birthday presents from my parents.

POSITIVE: I don't really remember what I ordered. But I've been sitting in the box it came in all day, and it's great!

NEGATIVE: Product didn't work, possibly broken. I woke up this morning and was disappointed to find I still believe in Jesus Christ our Savior. :(

POSITIVE: Excellent Buyer. A++++++. Thrilled by the quartz movement of the "Rolex". HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

NEGATIVE: Should have been clearer that seller only accepts payment in Bhats via Eastern Union Moneygram.

POSITIVE: Plain brown packaging seemed to fool my wife. Thanks!

NEGATIVE: The dog won't hunt.

NEGATIVE: Very nice monkey mascot costume, but it's a size 34, not a 63 as advertised.

NEGATIVE: Lederhosen not as pink as the picture led me to believe.

POSITIVE: A+++++. Items are exactly as described. Best case of kalashnikovs I've ever bought. Allah Akbar!

NEGATIVE: This is clearly the ninth, NOT THE SIXTH, repackaging of Mad Super Special #24.

POSITIVE: One of the scents mixed in with the packing peanuts remind me of a passionate weekend in Rio... was that you?

POSITIVE: The way you wrote my zip-code makes me weak in the knees. Such smooth strokes. A+!

NEGATIVE: Though you did nothing wrong, I am giving you this negative feedback to teach you that the universe is arbitrary and unfair.

NEGATIVE: Buying this Space 1999 Lunchbox did not fill the void in my empty life for as long as I'd hoped.

Funny Money

2008-01-22T22:47:00.000-10:00

Daily Comic Post?

2008-01-21T22:39:00.000-10:00

Who knows. The more I remember, the more I'll do.

Free

2008-01-21T00:05:00.000-10:00

Now I can write/draw about all the $#@1 I had to go through at work without the fear of repercussion.

Fired

2008-01-20T23:50:00.001-10:00

Sorry I haven't been posting as much as I used to. I was really busy with school and work and didn't have any time to update. My schedule was school, work then homework with small breaks in between classes to eat and play PSP. I used to work for vending, refilling all the candy, but since Christmas is slow, I work in the cafeteria for some $$$.

I just found out today that I was terminated from my vending job a month ago. Somehow they forgot to tell me that being me being relocated to the dishroom was permanent (despite them telling me that it was strictly for the Christmas season). I thought something was up when they told me last week that I'd be working in the dishroom "For a while" which I assumed a week or so. Later thay said there would only be 2 people working in vending and that I would not be returning.

Thanks to my friend in accounting, I found out yesterday that a new person was hired to refill the machines. I went to go talk to my boss about it and this is how it went down in a nut shell.

And here I thought Dilbert was fictionNeedless to say, I quit. Ironically, I check my inbox today and the guy who owns tripletags.com (maker of thsoe PS3/wii forum tags) offered me a job as assistant editor in chief.

Why did I get fired? well it's very simple, I didn't do as my boss instructed me. But, in my defense, she is bi-polar. Very often she will tell me to do one thing only to criticize me the next week for doing what she told me to do.

"No, you're filling up the machines too little!"

"No, you're filling it up to much! Cut back."

"The price of fruit snacks in your machine is at $.70, which is incorrect. Change the price of fruit snacks to $.80"

"I never said $.80 I said $.70"

"I never said $.70, I clearly said $.75."

"I don't know what the prices are, check the price sheet."

(The price sheet says $.70.)

"Isn't that what I told you? Why is it at $.75?"

Eventually I figured that I was doing everything right the first time around and all subsequent changes were completely unnecessary. But my boss doesn't like a "thinker" she wanted someone who would do everything she said even if it was incorrect.

Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

2008-01-18T01:29:00.000-10:00

courtesy of this site

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.

You're welcome.

Why 10 is too young for your first Brazilian

2008-01-08T22:06:00.000-10:00

no need to read the article just the digg responses.

“Here comes pedobear.”

“So well said! Why the huge rush to push children into growing up?”
“Because their 15 year old boyfriends don't want amazon.com down there.”
“Well I, for one, would appreciate the ability of order books online without a computer. Even if it's from the loins of a 10-year old.”
“A lot of 10 year olds these days do have pubic hair, believe it or not. The average age of puberty has been decreasing for years.”
“Pedo Alert”

“geez, i wasn't getting erections until about 12...”
“thanks for sharing that.”

“The thing that surprises me the most about this is that girls have pubic hair at age 10.
with all of the growth hormones in food, boys and girls are developing so much younger. I remember when I was 10, the girls had a natural brazillan way back then, no need for any hair removal.”
“Man dude were you raised in a nudist colony? How many of these brazilians were you seeing at age 10?”

“Pics or it didn't happen.”

“gross. why would a 10 year old need one? honeslty, who is having sex at 10?”
“My mom”
“10 year olds”
“with their teachers”

“Am I the only one that pictured me whoring myself out in Brazil when I was ten from the title?”
“I think you are the only one that pictured you whoring yourself out.”

“I'm 28 and have a huge bush.”
“Thanks. I've been waiting all night for you to tell me about your pubes; now I can go to sleep.”

What's the Worst Place in a Car to Put an LCD? We Report, You Decide

2008-01-08T21:57:00.000-10:00

Just about everywhere

Digg Response:

"Sweet Jesus, why?!"
"Because we can."
"I can glue my ass to a chair, and walk down the street.... but "because I can" is hardly enough of a reason to do it."

"I've got to give my vote to the LCD above the tire. That's more pointless than a bunny with a pancake on its head."
"I would find a bunny with a pancake covering its head amusing."

"I thought the mini was pretty cool actually, except for the giant 18 inch wheels. What's with everyone's obsession with big wheels even if it makes the car look like ass? I don't get it."
"The wheels? You're looking at those pictures and you're saying it's the WHEELS that make those cars look dumb?"

"I'll never understand having a LCD panel in the BACK of the car. Who's watching it back there?
the guy tailgating you."

Obama wins Iowa

2008-01-03T22:20:00.001-10:00

50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007

2007-12-29T13:19:00.000-10:00

And you are one of them. Seriously, a good read.

Find out what happened the day/month/year you were born

2007-12-26T05:49:00.000-10:00

here

November 13, 1987 1st condom commercial on BBC TV

yay

Conservative Killing

2007-12-26T04:26:00.000-10:00

Me: I haven't heard from you forever. I thought the republicans might've killed you, what with you being ultra-left

Friend: While the republicans do enjoy senseless killing they never really have the presence of mind to kill the right things.

Britney's 16 year old sister Jaime Lynn is pregnant

2007-12-18T19:55:00.000-10:00

hilarity ensues on digg.

steinbeckgirl
The Spears family should all get fixed.
blitzer

Sow their vaginas shut?

eroel462

sew. sow is a type of pig.
thebellmaster1x

No, he's just going to plant their shut vaginæ in rows for easy harvesting next year.

LordSeth

Didn't the Spears mother write a parenting book?
Eminemdrdre00

It has now been "delayed"
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20167088,0 ...
She fails at parenting!
GorfTron

Ya, It is called "Raising Whores For Dummies".

JLacombe

very sad...they're gonna get even more public criticism now... at least she's going to keep the baby.
nonymous666

I think the baby may beg to differ on this one.

thehardgoodbye

I haven't been this shocked since I found out that Leela was the father of Kif's baby...

nonymous666

This summer's fad fashion amongst the tweeners: Maternity clothes.

3rnesto

LOL
BodomX

Clearly the most thoughtful answer here.

whyufail

Yeah! How dare you get raped! It's your own fault because you wore that skirt! Now you better keep that bastard child and take some responsibility for your actions!
Ugoff

Is that you Mike Huckabee?

tolbs

Where is Chris Matthews when you need him?
nismo

Don't you mean Chris Hanson?

Dysarthria

"Hick girl gets knocked up" is not news.

ApokalypseNow

In 5-6 years, when both she and Brittney are bereft of money and careers, someone at Trojan is going to approach them with this idea about a condom commercial...

jmpeagle 29 minutes ago

I like how Nickelodeon was the one who confirmed this

mongoloidplease

Now I don't feel so guilty over fapping to her photos...
thebellmaster1x

Close your trench coat, pedo.
likwidfuzion

Why don't you have a seat over there...

egonSchiele

117 people dugg this story while I was reading it.

Hikimbi

Nickelodeon confirmed it? Did they dump slime on her at the press conference?

Whiteknight117

Imagine if K-Fed did it?
Kappa00

Why did you add a question mark to the end of your sentence?

Mist0r_Wiggles

who's cock was she sucking on?
bingobongony

You and your father need to have "the talk" I think.

cwcentral

"A high school student who lives in Louisiana, Jamie Lynn Spears reportedly met the father, Casey Aldridge, the son of a Tennessee papermill worker, at church."
I see our churches serving the community as usual. Hypocrisy FTW!

In the time it took me to create this post, it was dugg 217 times

HNN

2007-12-15T20:08:00.000-10:00

Letter on why it's crucial to support Ron Paul. Courtesy of History News Network, specifically Keith Halderman

An Open Letter to Tim Robbins

Dear Mr. Robbins,

First let me say that I admire your work in film especially the movie Bob Roberts. I am writing to you because the moral imperative of our time is to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, prevent war with Iran and change the philosophy behind the bipartisan foreign policy that has led to these disasters, which are killing and maiming innocent people, diminishing our capacity for defense, crushing our civil liberties, and bankrupting this country. It is my belief that you agree with me on this point, so the question is what are we going to do about it?

I want you and everyone else reading this letter to clear their minds for a second and think about an American soldier, maybe your younger brother or a good friend’s son, who is walking down a road in Iraq during the year 2010. Suddenly, a sniper’s bullet, fired by a man whose seven year old sister was ravaged by an American bomb and died in his arms, comes out of nowhere and smashes into the GI’s face, killing him on the spot. When we ask ourselves the most important question of our time, how can we save this man’s life and really concentrate it becomes clear that we only have one viable option.

We must elect the peace candidate, Ron Paul, president or that soldier and a lot of other people are going to die needlessly. He is the only one running in either party, with a chance to win, who has the inclination and the integrity to save those lives. So, I am asking you to, as publicly as you can, register Republican, contribute the maximum to his campaign on December 16th, and vote in your state’s primary for Paul.

Now, I suspect that the idea of becoming a Republican may be repugnant to you. As I have, on Bill Maher’s program, seen and agreed with your righteous anger towards the neocons who now control the GOP. But, I ask you what better way to get even, for all of the misery that they have inflicted on the world, with those prideful misguided destructive people than to take their party away from them and give it to Ron Paul. You see here is the fatal flaw in their system, yes, as you well know, the two parties control power in America but those who have led us down the present path do not now control both of the parties. Anyone can become a Republican, it does not cost a dime, it does not take very much effort, it does not change who you are as a person, and it does not diminish your integrity. At this moment in history, because of Ron Paul, all it does is give you access to power. And, of what importance are party labels compared to that soldier’s life?

You may object that there are Democratic candidates that will act on the moral imperative described and I agree that Dennis Kucinich, Mike Gravel, and possibly Bill Richardson would immediately end the war. If I thought Congressman Kucinich had a chance to win and Ron Paul did not then I would be writing to Pat Buchanan asking him to register Democratic but both he and Senator Gravel are treated like pariahs in their own party and Richardson has a very small following too. None of those three have over 76,000 Members in 1,300 Meetup Groups and none of them have raised over 10,800,000 dollars from ordinary citizens so far this quarter, including $4.2 million in one day. Also, they have not inspired the passion among college students, video artists, workers and people from all walks of life, that Ron Paul has. They do not even have their own blimps.

Kucinich, Gravel and Richardson do, however, present a strong contrast to the three front running Democratic candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama, and John Edwards, on matters of war and foreign policy. None of these leading candidates would commit to having our troops out of Iraq by 2013 or take the option of a nuclear first strike against Iran off the table. Not too long ago Barak Obama was talking about an additional 100,000 soldiers in Iraq and an incursion into Pakistan. Hillary Clinton voted for legislation that many analysts see as a defacto authorization for Bush to go to war with Iran. She also receives more money from the defense industry than any other candidate of either party. This begs the question what are those corporations buying with that money, that soldier’s death perhaps. The Democrats are offering the same choice they did in 2004, not a peace candidate but an I can run the war and the empire better candidate.

Maybe you are thinking that the policy differences in areas other than peace and civil liberties that you have with Ron Paul prohibit you from supporting him. Therefore I urge you with every fiber of my being to understand that areas where you agree with him are by far more consequential than the areas where you disagree. First and foremost, if Naomi Wolf is correct and we are on the brink of losing our democracy then any divergences you have with Paul over public policy will not matter because you will both be told what to do and what to think. Secondly, if Dr. Paul is right and our overseas empire is bankrupting us making the dollar worthless then there will be no money for government to meet its obligations let alone take on new projects to do good.

I have no doubt that you and Ron Paul have profoundly different visions of what government should be doing, however, when you closely analyze the disagreements realistically they are not so much about the role of government but rather what level of government should fulfill that role. My area of expertise is the history of drug prohibition and I have been active in the drug law reform movement for quite some time. It is axiomatic within this lobbying group that the removal of the federal presence from the issue would be a huge step forward, which is precisely what Ron Paul wants to do. Anyone concerned with social justice should welcome a devolution of government because the lower the level of government the more influence you have as an individual.

Though you may disagree with Paul as to method I believe that on issues such as health care and the environment you both have the same basic goals. Do not believe the people who would have you think he is an evil man. Surely, you can cut through their ridiculous smears such as calling him a racist because he voted against using public money for a medal honoring Rosa Parks. He offered to contribute his own funds and just wanted make the point that such legislation goes hand in hand with using taxes to honor those like Richard Nixon as well.

If abortion is a particular sticking point please keep in mind that every president since Roe v. Wade, with the exception of Bill Clinton, has been pro-life yet the law has not changed. The practical effect of electing Paul would be the slight possibility that the issue would revert to the states in a time when the overwhelming majority of the population is pro-choice. I do not believe that there is even one state legislature in this country that would return us to the back alley coat hanger days.

Ron Paul by himself can order the military to withdraw from Iraq, reverse the course of our foreign policy promoting empire, stop the erosion of our civil liberties, and end federal involvement in the war on people who use certain kinds of drugs. He can not by himself outlaw abortion, dismantle the social safety net, or change any state laws.

When the founding fathers talked about the need for a virtuous citizenry they were not talking about people who declined to cheat on their wives or drink or gamble. They spoke of citizens who kept themselves aware of what was really going on around them and acted to preserve liberty for everyone. I am asking you, Tim Robbins, to be virtuous and to do everything you can to get Ron Paul elected. The pollsters and most of the main stream media are lying to us he can win but not without effort and he needs your help.

Sincerely,
Keith Halderman

Seinfeld Lost Episode - Kramer At The Laugh Factory

2007-12-04T20:27:00.001-10:00

99 Classic 'Yo Momma' Jokes

2007-11-30T22:41:00.000-10:00

Courtesy of Postscripts

Yo momma so fat,

1. she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
2. when she tripped over on Fourth Avenue, she landed on Twelfth.
3. she's got her own area code.
4. when she talks to herself, it's a long distance call.
5. she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
6. whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
7. she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of March.
8. she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her for the New World.
9. she wears aluminum siding.
10. she could fall down and wouldn't even know it.

***

11. she got hit by a VW and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.
12. the sign inside one restaurant says, "Maximum occupancy, 512, or Yo momma."
13. she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
14. the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
15. her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
16. she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
17. when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
18. when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
19. she was zoned for commercial development.
20. when she sings, it's over for everybody.

***

21. she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
22. when she was walking down the street and I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
23. when she dances, she makes the band skip.
24. when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy's word for it.
25. she gets group insurance.
26. she's on both sides of the family.
27. she can't reach her back pocket.
28. she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
29. when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
30. when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

***

31. when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.
32. we're in her right now.
33. when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.
34. her bellybutton’s got an echo.
35. when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.
36. her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
37. the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
38. a picture of her would fall off the wall.
39. when she gets on the scale, it says "To be continued."
40. she sat on a dollar, and when she got up there were four quarters.

***

41. she fell in love and broke it.
42. when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
43. you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
44. when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
45. when she wears a yellow raincoat people holler, "Taxi."
46. when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
47. she could sell shade.
48. people jog around her for exercise.
49. she gets runs in her jeans.
50. when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.

***

51. she eats Wheat Thicks.
52. she can't even jump to a conclusion.
53. when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
54. her graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
55. her job title is spoon and fork operator.
56. she left the house in high heels, and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
57. you have to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
58. she has to wake up in sections.
59. she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose.
60. she walked into the Gap and filled it.

***

61. she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
62. she comes at you from all directions.
63. when she was growing up she didn't play with dolls, she played with midgets.
64. she uses two buses for roller-blades.
65. when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.
66. she doesn't eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.
67. Weight Watchers won't look at her.
68. the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.
69. she put on some BVDs and by the time she got them on, they spelled "boulevard."
70. I ran around her twice and got lost.

***

71. the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.
72. the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.
73. when she's standing on the corner police drive by and yell, "Hey, break it up."
74. she's been declared a natural habitat for condors.
75. she sets off car alarms when she runs.
76. when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
77. her blood type is Ragu.
78. they had to let out the shower curtain.
79. when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.
80. she can't even fit in the chat room.

***
81. she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body.
82. she doesn't have a tailor, she has a contractor.
83. she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.
84. she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade...wearing ropes.
85. she went on a light diet. As soon as it's light she starts eating.
86. she's half Italian, half Irish, and half American.
87. when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
88. when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
89. when she goes in a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "Okay.”
90. she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.

***

91. she has to pull down her pants to get in her pocket.
92. her waist size is the Equator.
93. she’s got her own zip code.
94. she has to buy two plane tickets.
95. she stands in two time zones.
96. she fell and created the Grand Canyon.
97. she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
98. she fell out of both sides of her bed.

Vote for me or you will die!!!

2007-11-25T14:31:00.000-10:00

Some people are just plain crazy.

Real Age

2007-11-24T21:51:00.000-10:00

This site will help you gauge your real age and how long you'll live. Turns out I'll live to be 80 and I'm really a 13 1/2 year old. Back off Michael Jackson!

What do conservatives like readin about?

2007-11-23T12:26:00.000-10:00

Surprise, surprise

Violence down 90% in Basra

2007-11-18T19:18:00.000-10:00

Here's more good news from Iraq that the media elite just don't want you to hear. But don't worry, good ol Fel has your back and is bringing you the unfiltered, awesome truth.

[url=http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/11/15/africa/ME-GEN-Iraq-Basra.php]http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/11/15/...-Iraq-Basra.php[/url]

"Britain's 5,000 troops moved out of a former Saddam Hussein palace at Basra's heart in early September, setting up a garrison at an airport on the city's edge. Since that pullback, there's been a "remarkable and dramatic drop in attacks," Binns said."

"The motivation for attacking us was gone, because we're no longer patrolling the streets," he said."

Yeah, eat that, terrorists. You'll have a hard time blowing us up when we're not there.

Daily Show - Jon Stewart =

2007-11-17T22:11:00.001-10:00

What can $611 billion buy?

2007-11-12T13:40:00.001-10:00

A lost pf PSwii60's, that's for sure.

Hilarious

2007-11-11T19:14:00.000-10:00

a funny and entertaining read.

America the slightly less beautiful

2007-11-10T23:55:00.000-10:00

"In class it was stated that American government is complex and not intended to be understood by the average citizen. What do you think about this and would the founders agree with the level of democracy instituted in our government? Is it relying too much on the voice and opinion of people?"

Lets look at what people want and if they got it

Out of Iraq: Nope
Universal Healthcare: Nope
Child Healthcare: Nope
Ban on Gay marriage: Nope
Gay Marriage Acceptable: Nope
Ban on Abortion: Nope
Catching Osama Bin Laden: Nope
Making American Safe: We're safer yet not safe - Bush
Winning Hearts and Minds of the Arab World: Nope
Impeach Cheney and/or Bush: Almost, but no.
Alternative fuel: Nope
Low Gas Prices: Nope
Immigration Reform: Nope
Social Security Reform: Nope
Stop Global Climate Change: Nope
Making Sure our Congressmen get raises every year: Yes

Considering how much the people want and how much they get, I'd say the founders would be proud. At least we succeed where it counts.

Uber-PWNAGE!

2007-10-27T23:53:00.000-10:00

Ok, so owning someone on a message board really isn't anything to cheer about, but when that message board is private and intended only for political science students, I think it should stand for something. (E-penis increase +1)

Here's the topic:

"In class today, we talked about President Bush and the war in Iraq. We talked about the fact that President Bush has gone against the will of most Americans under the belief that the war will prove to be the right thing in the future. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, Americans are already in it together. How important is it that the people support, respect, and pray for their leaders even if they disagree with them? The media seems to do more and more "bashing" of our leaders, but is this attitude really going to help us? Obviously there will always be controversy in decisions that are made, but provided they are educated choices made with righteous intentions should we stand by our leaders for the sake of unity while respectfully disagreeing? Or should we attack and condemn them, dismissing their judgment as unsubstantiated? Does it matter?"

Everyone agreed that there is too much hatred of bush and we need to support him. Now my Uber-Pwnage +10 post

I could not agree more with you guys. There is just way too much hatred of President Bush. The media and the public in general just blow things out of proportion. Bashing on Bush hurts his feelings and, like myself, he can’t function when people are just spewing hateful words at him. Unless he has 100% support from Americans, he’s not going to be a successful president, despite the fact that he keeps saying he’ll be great in the future when history is written and he’ll be dead and unable to hear the praises we’ll give him for being right on everything. We need to be loyal to President Bush, so that way everyone will see us as strong, like Germany circa 1934. You know, It wasn’t too long ago that everyone was on his side, united, and now they’re all against him. And why?

Iraq. Ok, so his administration lied about weapons of mass destruction, outed a CIA agent because they didn’t like her husband (even though her job was to prevent people like Saddam from getting nuclear weapons) they didn’t send in enough troops,the troops that were sent were ill-equipped without body armor or armored humvees, (However Bush still supports the troops! He's cut Veterans pay and Walter Reed Hospital, the one that takes care of injured vets, is a dump. If that isn't supporting the troops, then I don't know what is.) messed up on rebuilding Iraq by valuing loyalty over competence from everyone we sent there. Who hasn’t done that? I know I have. We’re getting rid of Al Qaeda there, which only entered the country after we invaded. But we’re doing a great job battling them, even though Al Qaeda is only responsible for 5% of attacks. The rest of the attacks are being caused by Shia and Sunni, but in Bush’s defense, he wasn’t aware of these separate divisions in Islam.

And Bush isn’t going to back down on the Iraq issue. He doesn’t care if he’s unpopular because he’s sure that history will look kindly on him and look at how many presidents were hated by the people during their time and yet were loved by historians. I can’t name any off the top of my head, but I’m sure there’s plenty of them.

I also agree with him on fiscal spending. cuts taxes during a time of war and give the bill to our children who we won’t give health insurance to? Pure genius! Is our children learning? Yes. Childrens do learn. Hopefully not too quickly, otherwise they’ll figure out that we’re wrecking their future.

Above all else, Bush has made us far safer. Yes, the War in Iraq is being used by Al Qaeda as a recruitment tool, but who could’ve predicted that Muslims would be enraged by a foreign power entering their country? But he has taken steps here at home to make us safe. We’re “interrogating” terrorists, not torturing them. We can’t be torturing because America doesn’t torture and we’re America. Also, he’s listening on our phone calls, to intercept terrorist communications. True, this is not legal, but the last president to wire-tap illegally was Nixon and we all know how awesome Richard is. The Patriot Act, you know that’s a great law because it has the word ‘Patriot’ written right into it. You can’t get any more American than that. Sure it takes away some of our liberties and increases the power of government, but we can completely trust our government, the book 1984 taught us that. And I’m not even going to talk about how great FEMA is.

Of course the ‘Loony Left’ as I like to call them will keep trying to kick Bush down. They’re say things like

“All men having power ought to be mistrusted”

“We are right to take alarm at the first experiment upon our liberties.”

“If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.”

“It is a universal truth that the loss of liberty at home is to be charged to the provisions against danger, real or pretended, from abroad.”

“No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare.”

But what they don’t say is that all these quotes come from 1 person, James Madison, and we all know that he doesn’t Support our Troops. (whatever that means) Ok, so Ben Franklin said

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both"

but that’s so pre-9/11 thinking, people. We can’t be held down by 18th century ideologies and the constitution. They couldn’t have predicted the situation we would be in. In fact, even 20th century ideology is archaic. We need to repeal the 22nd amendment and elect Bush every 4 years. Unless we stand by him continuously the terrorists will see us as weak and we can’t have that. Who else is going to be patriotic enough to support President Bush and our troops until we eliminate terror?

.........?

2007-10-14T00:27:00.000-10:00

Wow, I won something for once

2007-10-08T22:40:00.000-10:00

Check out the last post

I hope being part of gameflavor.com doesn't disqualify me

Parent of the Year

2007-10-04T23:07:00.000-10:00

She's got my vote.

Metaphors and Similies

2007-09-29T12:35:00.001-10:00

I might not be good at metaphors, but I am funny and that’s what really counts. Hopefully I’ll get a good grade based on that.

Going on a blind date is like – Christmas

Christmas is like – Going on a blind date

A tall, cold glass of water after a hot day is – like a hot cup of cocoa on a cold winder morning

My brother plays basketball like – a white guy

He looked in his mailbox as if – he was expecting something.

He dealt out poker chips like a – douchebag.

The old man next door is – crazy.

My girlfriend is like – totally cheating on me.

The group of women sitting at the far table in the restaurant chattered like – a group of women sitting at the far table in the restaurant chattering.

Eating at that Restaurant is – hell because there’s a group of women sitting at the far table chattering.

I laughed pretty hard

2007-09-27T20:48:00.000-10:00

"So what, the CELL is better at ray tracing. Is that enough to make a video game with superb visuals? NOPE"

Oh the irony.

"But hey look at the bright side, nothing can beat $170 million first day man."
"Yeah because when you console goes the best thing to cheer you up is how much money bungie and microsoft are rolling around in."

"Remember in the '90s when we used to joke around about what would happen if Microsoft made a car? Remember that? And how the car would basically kill anyone who drove it? Does anyone else remember that? Because that's exactly what the Xbox 360 is like."

Verbatim Quotes from Republicans when Clinton was Prez.Verbatim Quotes from Republicans when Clinton was Prez.

2007-09-16T15:18:00.000-10:00

From here

I find it odd the Republicans had a different message when Clinton was President:
KY's Senior Senator Mitch McConnell said during a speech on the floor of the U.S. Senate
"Domestic terrorism is not a cause we have to fight or a project we need to fund. We are not interested in capturing bin Laden. Even though he has been offered to us. We are not the world's policemen. It's not our job to clean up other countries messes or arrest it's bad guys."

VERBATIM QUOTES FROM WHEN CLINTON WAS COMMITTING TROOPS TO BOSNIA:

"You can support the troops but not the president."--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)
"Well, I just think it's a bad idea. What's going to happen is they're going to be over there for 10, 15, maybe 20 years."--Joe Scarborough (R-FL)

"Explain to the mothers and fathers of American servicemen that may come home in body bags why their son or daughter have to give up their life?"--Sean Hannity, Fox News, 4/6/99

"[The] President . . . is once again releasing American military might on a foreign country with an ill-defined objective and no exit strategy. He has yet to tell the Congress how much this operation will cost. And he has not informed our nation's armed forces about how long they will be away from home. These strikes do not make for a sound foreign policy."--Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA)"

American foreign policy is now one huge big mystery. Simply put, the administration is trying to lead the world with a feel-good foreign policy."--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)

"If we are going to commit American troops, we must be certain they have a clear mission, an achievable goal and an exit strategy."
--Karen Hughes, speaking on behalf of George W Bush

"I had doubts about the bombing campaign from the beginning . . I didn't think we had done enough in the diplomatic area."--Senator Trent Lott (R-MS)

"I cannot support a failed foreign policy. History teaches us that it is often easier to make war than peace. This administration is just learning that lesson right now. The President began this mission with very vague objectives and lots of unanswered questions. A month later, these questions are still unanswered. There are no clarified rules of engagement. There is no timetable. There is no legitimate definition of victory. There is no contingency plan for mission creep. There is no clear funding program. There is no agenda to bolster our over-extended military. There is no explanation defining what vital national interests are at stake. There was no strategic plan for war when the President started this thing, and there still is no plan today"--Rep Tom Delay (R-TX)

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is."-- Governor George W. Bush (R)-TX

O.I.L.

2007-09-15T22:06:00.000-10:00

On the Iraq War

TheSkinsFactory

The war is about Peak Oil and securing our national security since if we have no oil, we plunge back into the stone age. It's also about petrol dollars and how Saddam switched to the euro for oil payments. It's also to weaken OPEC. There's so many reasons we're there and not one of them is about terror. If you've being watching the news lately, guess who else wants to switch to euros for oil payments... Iran. Wonder where we're going to strike next?

doomrat

It would be if people still paid attention to the truth. But it's been years since that's happened.
Jesus Christ could ride a unicorn down a rainbow into the Superbowl halftime game, announce that Saddam did NOT blow up the WTC and the majority of American conservatives would all be like, 'that Jesus...such a kidder!'
Look around...people don't buy the truth like they used to. I blame fast food additives and fructose corn syrup.

Why We Must Leave Iraq

2007-09-10T01:12:00.000-10:00

From The Nation

As Congress gathers to hear the reports of Gen. David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker, no amount of Administration spin can hide the ugly reality in Iraq. A surge that should never have been tried and that could never have succeeded has predictably failed. While violence in some parts of Baghdad has declined to June 2006 levels, the number of deaths from political violence has increased in Iraq as a whole. Ethnic cleansing has proceeded apace, and the humanitarian catastrophe, already staggering, has worsened. Some 2.5 million Iraqis are now refugees in neighboring countries. Another 2 million are internally displaced. And despite Bush Administration claims to the contrary, most of Iraq's cities and towns still lack regular electricity, sanitation and other basic services, and suffer from economic depression. Up to half of Iraqis are unemployed.

The stated purpose of the surge was to create enough security in and around Baghdad to give Iraqi politicians breathing room to pursue reconciliation. But with the exception of some very minor recent concessions on de-Baathification, the Shiite-led government has stuck to positions that have prevented most Sunnis from participating in the government. Moreover, it is increasingly difficult to speak of an Iraqi government that has power or authority outside Baghdad's Green Zone. Real power resides with the militias on the ground, which are competing for resources and influence throughout much of Iraq. Even within the Green Zone, some seventeen ministries have withdrawn their support from the government and increasingly act as independent fiefdoms handing out resources to loyal constituents.

The surge has done nothing to change this--in large part because the United States, despite its sizable military and substantial economic largesse, is powerless to coerce or cajole change in the centers of power. Any gains the surge has produced may be gone tomorrow, like a footprint washed away by the tide.

The surge has thus been a cruel hoax on the American people and on our servicemen and -women (more than 600 of whom have been killed and 4,000 injured since the surge was announced). It is yet another Administration bid to stave off public pressure to withdraw and thus to avoid admitting failure. This irresponsibility--this morally indefensible sacrifice of American and Iraqi lives in pursuit of unachievable goals--must end. The Iraq War has long been lost, and it is time to bring it to a close. We continue to believe that a complete withdrawal of US forces, carried out as quickly as possible, is the best course of action for the United States, Iraq and the region.

The question before Congress and the nation should not be whether to give the surge more time but how best to end the occupation. So far the Administration has been able to thwart Congressional efforts to force a withdrawal--first with the surge and now with its dire warnings of a disaster in store for Iraq, the region and US interests if we withdraw. Also troubling, several Democratic presidential candidates seem to have bought into these worst-case scenarios and have begun to slow their timetable for withdrawal, adding new conditions for a pullout. Some are even calling for keeping a sizable residual force in Iraq or neighboring countries indefinitely. Congress must resist White House claims about the surge's "success" and deny additional funds for the occupation, instead pursuing reconciliation and reconstruction, at home and abroad. As the Administration presses its PR offensive for an extended surge and open-ended occupation, it is critically important that we let our representatives know we're fed up with the war and want the troops home--now. Otherwise, Congress is unlikely to buck White House pressure.

Those who support a residual US force in Iraq argue that a complete withdrawal would hamper our ability to deter Al Qaeda attacks, sectarian atrocities and regional war. We believe that any good accomplished by a residual US force would be outweighed by the harm it would do.

Consider the question of Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, which at most has a few thousand fighters. Local Sunni groups tolerated them in the past because they were allies against the occupation. Now that the Sunni tribes expect a US withdrawal, they have begun to turn against Al Qaeda. And if the Sunnis aren't able to eliminate the jihadis, the Shiites and the Kurds will, with the blessing if not the outright help of neighboring countries like Syria, Turkey and Iran, which do not want Al Qaeda to gain a foothold in the area. And as regional expert Flynt Leverett has pointed out, conventional ground troops are useless for counterterrorism missions. A residual force in Iraq (or in neighboring Kuwait) would further inflame popular opinion against the United States in the Arab and Muslim worlds and be a boon to jihadi recruitment.

As for intervening to stop sectarian atrocities, US military forces in much larger numbers have not been able to stop the violence that has claimed nearly 2,000 Iraqis a month or to prevent the ethnic cleansing that has displaced millions. It is not clear why a smaller force would be any more effective. The sad fact is that much of the ethnic cleansing has already taken place--on our watch. To be sure, a US withdrawal may lead to an intensification of the civil war, as different factions make a grab for power. But stability among these factions can be established only after a US withdrawal. Indeed, any US forces will be destabilizing because one group or another will try to draw them into the battle on their side. Only after we commit to a complete withdrawal will there be any hope of international mediation and a lasting settlement based on a balance of forces not subject to US favoritism and power maneuvers, suspected or real.

As to the concern that a complete withdrawal will lead to regional war, as different countries intervene in Iraq's civil war: This is a naïvely self-centered view of the Middle East and its problems. For all its democratic and human rights shortcomings, the region is resilient and capable of managing conflict. It survived fifteen years of civil war in Lebanon and almost a decade of brutal war between Iran and Iraq. It will survive the withdrawal of US forces from Iraq. It was the Saudis and Syrians who in 1989 brokered an end to the war in Lebanon, not us. And Iran, Syria and Saudi Arabia have the greatest stake in keeping the Iraqi conflict contained and therefore can be counted on to control their allies in Iraq once US forces withdraw.

More important, a commitment to a complete US withdrawal would open the way for international mediation and peacekeeping efforts, under the auspices of the United Nations, the Arab League or the Organization of the Islamic Conference. Indeed, it may be the only way to develop a regional concert of powers that can work with Iraqis to stabilize the country and control the conflict. Only by removing US forces and ending all claims to permanent bases can Washington increase the possibility that other countries will assist Iraq. The best way to prevent regional destabilization is to refocus our regional efforts and help Iraq and its neighbors cope with the humanitarian crisis we helped create. We can begin by helping to organize assistance for Syria, Jordan and Lebanon to resettle their Iraqi refugees. We can press Gulf countries like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia not to buy US weapons and host US troops but to open their doors to their Iraqi neighbors. And we can talk with Syria and Iran about our common interest in an Al Qaeda-free region instead of threatening to overthrow their governments.

Not only is withdrawing from Iraq in our national interest; it is also the moral, responsible thing to do. There is one way to atone for our illegal invasion and reckon with the human catastrophe our occupation has caused: End the occupation and abandon the pretense that only American power can bring order and democracy to the region. Then there will be a fair test of the Iraqis' willingness to settle their differences and of the international community's ability to assist them. And then we will be able to prove our nonimperial claims and play a constructive role in the region and world.

Ron Paul on Fox News Debate

2007-09-06T22:56:00.001-10:00

I'm converted. Obama Paul 08!

Talking About Lincoln

2007-09-06T22:53:00.000-10:00

Michael: yeah, everyone knows that, I'm just saying that at the time he was rather unpopular. I mean look at the civil war

me: inevitable

it's not like the southern sentiments came out of nowhere

it was there for quite some time

Michael: yeah, but certain states were pretty pissed with him

I'm not saying that he was a bad or unlikeable guy, I'm just saying he didn't rub everyone the right way

me: well, he wasn't a prostitute, so he didn't need to

Writing

2007-09-03T19:30:00.000-10:00

Experience:
Considering the inane fact that the graduation requirements for students in Hawaii includes 4 years of English, I have ample experience in writing (albeit not very well, though above par when compared to my peers). Add to that my two semesters I took in Creative Writing and I should be considered a genius by Hawaii standards. My fondest memories are from my Creative Writing class. Though we wrote poetry, short stories and journals, the high light of the class was watching semi-popular movies and writing our reflections on what we watched. I always knew that those countless hours spent in front of the TV during my childhood years would come in handy. And my parents said that it would amount to nothing.

Most Influential Teacher:
My favorite teacher had to be Mrs Jackson. Unlike the other teachers whose standards are rooted in tradition which stifles creativity, Mrs Jackson allowed me to write however I felt like. So, instead of my essays being boring like “The rose bush represents blah, blah, blah. The author thought this, that and that over there” and more like “The rose bush totally represents contemporary America and the author thought that these people were douchebags for not taking care of it.” Although I should mention that I never managed to get an A on an essay.

Writing Process:
I usually get writing ideas and inspiration from my head. I don’t know what big name authors get their ideas from, I suspect they steal them because they always claim to get their inspiration from someone else, like their moms.

The conditions in which I write in are very specific. The room must be dark, with a single candle, lit, on the table. It must be a full moon, but not too full. I must be wearing my cloak of awesomeness and my +10 hat of creativity. Of course, I’m just kidding. I usually write whenever I feel like it, which tends to be later in the day, since I have school and work in the morning. Also, because my writing is atrocious, a computer is essential.

I rarely revise a piece of my writing for one simple reason: I am perfect. On that ever-so-rare occasion I do need to edit, I will blame it on my muse, because, lets face it, it was her fault to begin with. And yes, my muse is female.

Also, I only work under deadlines when I’m writing for someone else. You can’t force inspiration and genius. It comes naturally.

Good writers:
Good writers must have a good imagination. English skills aren’t as important because any smart writer will just have their editor fix their mistakes for them. If your brain is defected and you are unable to imagine, then at least be sure you’re a genius. That way, even though the world of fiction is forever beyond your grasp, you can always fall back on non-fiction. I used to have an optimistic view about people and their writings. Then I discovered their blogs and have been a pessimist ever since. Seriously people, no one cares if you ate a sandwich, no one cares what kind of sandwich is was and we really could careless about who you think is cute or which teacher you despise with every fiber of your being. Now go cut yourself.

Favorite Writer:
My favorite writer is, of course, me. I am my own best fan. (And no, I’m not the only one) If I ever found someone who wrote as well as me or better, I’m marry her* (*Only applicable to females. Sorry guys.). My second favorite writer is Dave Barry whose flair for humor seems to exceed my own.

What would you like to learn:
If at all possible, I would like to learn nothing this semester and yet still receive an A.

Democracy index

2007-09-03T19:21:00.000-10:00

From the Economist
1. Sweden
2. Iceland
3. Netherlands
4. Norway
5. Denmark
-
-
-
16. Spain 8.34
17. US 8.22
18. Czech Republic 8.17
19. Portugal 8.16
20. Belgium & Japan 8.15
22. Greece 8.13
23. UK 8.08
24. France 8.07
25. Mauritius & Costa Rica 8.04

"Somehow, "we're number seventeen!" just doesn't have the same ring to it..."- felchdonkey

"In your face Czech Republic!!!!"- AxeSwinger

"'Bush should invite Swedes over to teach the worlds' greatest country how to be a democracy ;o)'

By invite do you mean invade?" - abid786

" the US isn't in the top ten because we're busy exporting democracy. another top export is freedom."- pintomp3

Taliban thanks South Korea for $20 million, will use it for terrorism

2007-09-02T20:57:00.000-10:00

" they would have wasted the money on Starcraft 2 anyway" - hbeierg

Games of September PS3 Edition

2007-08-26T21:47:00.000-10:00

Check it out

I haven't been following the wii releases too closely to do justice to them and there's more than enough coverage for Halo3.

Digg Survey Results

2007-08-26T17:49:00.000-10:00

Digg recently had a survey and here's what some of the results were.

Even with all the Ron Paul enthusiasts, Barack Obama ended up getting the most votes,with 29.6%. Ron Paul comes in second with 23.9% pf all the votes. The lowest performers were Chris Dodd, with 50 (.1%), Duncan Hunter with 62 .1%) and Sam Brownback (*snicker* I wonder why it's brown) with 79(.2%). Dennis Kucinich is inexplicably missing.

The OS of choice is NOT Linux, which only had 22.5% of the vote. but rather windows, with 59.6% and Mac OSX comes in second with 30.2%

Our gaming platform of choice is the wii and PC with 43.5% and 41.4% respectively. 360 came in 3rd with 38.3%.

Almost 3/4s ( 71.5% ) think/know Al Qaida was the one who attacked the US on 9/11, while 18.4% of users believe the US was behind it.

43.2% are atheists with protestant and catholic consisting of16.2% and 12.2% of the community

And about half of us think Digg is About the same as it's ever been

A Child's Guide To United States Foreign Policy

2007-08-23T22:40:00.000-10:00

Stolen directly from Austrailianpolitics.com. That's ok because I'm black and people expect me to do dumb s*** like this.

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Fox's 1/2 Hour News Hour sucks @$$

2007-08-13T16:58:00.000-10:00

Now, I love political humor and realize it's importance in contemporary American society. However, There's a critical element missing in Fox's show, humor. Without humor, the show is just a string of liberal-bashing segments that can be found on just about all of Fox's shows minus the awkwardness. Don't take my word for it.

Find that funny? Maybe I'm missing my right lobe, but jokes seemed like they were lifted right off a Disney Channel sitcom. (ouch) To make matters worse, I'm actually cherry-picking the HIGHEST rated clips. (They do get worse)

This one isn't funny so much as it is sexy, proving the age-old truth that the only thing Fox seems to get right is sex.

(Yes, Simpsons is part of the fox network but notice the absence of the conservative bias*)

The lack of humor would be palpable had the 2/3 hour show (that's how long it FEELS like) were the only show on television doing political humor. But it's not. (in fact, you could argue that it's the worst show on television. with Metacritic giving the show a measly 12/100, despite the high viewer count for the pilot)

The show seems to be taking aim at The Daily Show with its "liberal" bias, by leaning right with its jokes, which immediately cripples the show right from the start. Even with all the daily show clips taken off, I managed to find something that's funnier than the best clips of the 4/3 hour show.

The problem for 2144/4 hour is that the Daily show makes fun of both parties, giving them twice as much material to work with. Also, the 1/2 hour insists on only making fun of liberals (or doing a sex joke) that means that the white house is off limits, another crippling blow. In addition to all the self-afflicted wounds, their jokes will only seem to please the far right (the people who call the daily show bias because they don't give blow jobs to President Bush.) which wouldn't bother watching anything other than fox news anyway! Why? Maybe this clip will help you identify the problem.

Now, I don't hate Fox News for being conservative. (I myself know that ALL major news stations have a bias, either left or right) I hate them for being to damn paranoid and inaccurate. And in a democracy, making citizens unintelligent is just unpatriotic.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 day after I post the entry, this shows up. Fox, go F**k yourself!

____________________________________________________________________

2 days after the show gets cancelled. Do I have great timing or what?

chain letter

2007-08-12T21:52:00.000-10:00

the chain letter is in the quotes. my comments are not

YEAR:

2029

“Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , former ly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.”

Assuming California secedes and gets away with it, why would English be the 3rd language and not the 2nd? (assuming the Latino community, who the majority of which speak English, would change the official language to Spanish.)

“Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.”

22 years isn’t enough to take a creature from near-brink extinction to eccesive commodity

“Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.”

At least, they would be if babies in the past were not conceived naturally. If these “scientists” are stumped by this in 22 years, I’d say we should all personally pummel them.

“ Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.”

What was in place before that? gay marriage? Considering that gay marriage is outlawed in all states minus 1, if it managed to not only become instated in the US in 22 years but manage to in fact ban heterosexual marriage, America really is the red neck country of the western world and I’d be living in Canada.

“Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). “

What happened to Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Turkey, and Iran? Did we bomb the $#@! out of them and are no longer existing?

“Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.”

That explains why 1 of the countries was missing form the list.

“France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.”

Their bobsled team was very formidable.

“Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.”

Fidel Castro was born in 1929, effectively making him 103 years old, not 112. (Unless he masted time magic, which would explain why he managed to outlive all other Cubans before him.)

“George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.”

That is just what America needs.

“Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.”

Unless we run into some bull$#@! inflation, I highly doubt you’d pay more than $1 for a stamp.(assuming rates increase at an average pace(considering from 65-85 we have a 400% increase, as opposed to just a mere 100% increase between 85 and now, we can expect a 175% increase over 20 years due to various unfavorable economic factors.) It took 20 years for rates to double (from 22 cents in 85 to 41 cents in 07)

“85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.”

I highly doubt anyone is currently taking part in a diet study that would last their entire lives. If they’re using different people in each decade, then the numbers are invalid.

“Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.”

And it only took me 22 years to become below average.

“Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.”

Haha. But I call bull. Their mouths are never closed. Even asleep, they’re still talking.

“Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.”

Why would a highly liberal state even consider executing people? More like ‘Mass. liberals abort last remaining conservative baby” now that would be more believable.

“Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.”

If such were the case, they’d also rule that all Americans are guilty of some crime. Inconceivable? When was the last time you downloaded music or took something that didn’t belong to you, or threatened someone? Yeah, thought so.

Idiocy

2007-08-12T16:12:00.000-10:00

http://www.the-trukstop.com/articles/2007/idiocracy.html

in case reading hurts your eyes too much

Dick Cheney has a heart?

2007-08-12T13:05:00.001-10:00

......maybe.....

Stuff

2007-08-12T13:00:00.000-10:00

http://www.juvenilecomedy.com/firstdate.htm

Coming Soon Part 2

2007-08-11T12:18:00.000-10:00

and this

Coming Soon

2007-08-11T11:56:00.000-10:00

In the meantime, just sit there and listen to the sound of silence......and this