Writing

Experience:
Considering the inane fact that the graduation requirements for students in Hawaii includes 4 years of English, I have ample experience in writing (albeit not very well, though above par when compared to my peers). Add to that my two semesters I took in Creative Writing and I should be considered a genius by Hawaii standards. My fondest memories are from my Creative Writing class. Though we wrote poetry, short stories and journals, the high light of the class was watching semi-popular movies and writing our reflections on what we watched. I always knew that those countless hours spent in front of the TV during my childhood years would come in handy. And my parents said that it would amount to nothing.

Most Influential Teacher:
My favorite teacher had to be Mrs Jackson. Unlike the other teachers whose standards are rooted in tradition which stifles creativity, Mrs Jackson allowed me to write however I felt like. So, instead of my essays being boring like “The rose bush represents blah, blah, blah. The author thought this, that and that over there” and more like “The rose bush totally represents contemporary America and the author thought that these people were douchebags for not taking care of it.” Although I should mention that I never managed to get an A on an essay.

Writing Process:
I usually get writing ideas and inspiration from my head. I don’t know what big name authors get their ideas from, I suspect they steal them because they always claim to get their inspiration from someone else, like their moms.

The conditions in which I write in are very specific. The room must be dark, with a single candle, lit, on the table. It must be a full moon, but not too full. I must be wearing my cloak of awesomeness and my +10 hat of creativity. Of course, I’m just kidding. I usually write whenever I feel like it, which tends to be later in the day, since I have school and work in the morning. Also, because my writing is atrocious, a computer is essential.

I rarely revise a piece of my writing for one simple reason: I am perfect. On that ever-so-rare occasion I do need to edit, I will blame it on my muse, because, lets face it, it was her fault to begin with. And yes, my muse is female.

Also, I only work under deadlines when I’m writing for someone else. You can’t force inspiration and genius. It comes naturally.

Good writers:
Good writers must have a good imagination. English skills aren’t as important because any smart writer will just have their editor fix their mistakes for them. If your brain is defected and you are unable to imagine, then at least be sure you’re a genius. That way, even though the world of fiction is forever beyond your grasp, you can always fall back on non-fiction. I used to have an optimistic view about people and their writings. Then I discovered their blogs and have been a pessimist ever since. Seriously people, no one cares if you ate a sandwich, no one cares what kind of sandwich is was and we really could careless about who you think is cute or which teacher you despise with every fiber of your being. Now go cut yourself.

Favorite Writer:
My favorite writer is, of course, me. I am my own best fan. (And no, I’m not the only one) If I ever found someone who wrote as well as me or better, I’m marry her* (*Only applicable to females. Sorry guys.). My second favorite writer is Dave Barry whose flair for humor seems to exceed my own.

What would you like to learn:
If at all possible, I would like to learn nothing this semester and yet still receive an A.